Busting the Myth of Neurodivergent Laziness

Why "Try Harder" Isn't the Answer

Have you ever found yourself frustrated by the misconception that neurodivergent teens are simply "lazy" and could succeed if only they tried harder? It's a sentiment that's all too common, yet it couldn't be further from the truth. Telling our kids to "try harder" is like asking someone with hay fever to stop sneezing – it's an oversimplified solution to a complex issue.

Let's delve deeper into why this myth persists and why it's crucial to shift our mindset.

Firstly, it's essential to recognise that the challenges our neurospicy teens face with attention and focus, stem from differences in brain function, not a lack of effort or motivation. Expecting them to "try harder" is akin to asking someone with dyslexia to "just read better" – it's not helpful, fair, or realistic.

As parents, our role is to support and advocate for our kids in finding strategies that work for them. This means ALL of our kids - the neurotypical and the neurospicy. So what does that actually look like? Well, it might involve breaking tasks down into smaller, more manageable steps, creating a quiet and structured workspace, or using visual aids to aid organisation and comprehension. By recognising and accommodating their unique needs, we empower our teens to thrive in their own way.

Navigating the expectations of the outside world, particularly the rigidity of the education system (which, as much as it frustrates us, we simply have to work with at the moment), can be especially challenging for neurodivergent teens. But instead of trying to force them to fit into a one-size-fits-all mould, let's focus on celebrating their individuality and finding solutions that honour their strengths and abilities.

Next time you're tempted to utter the words "just focus," pause and remember this: it's not about trying harder. It's about finding what works for your teen and providing unwavering support every step of the way. I'm not saying it's easy, or there will be days when you don't just lose all your good intentions and it all gets too much - you're human, and we've all been there! But much like being on a diet, it's what you do after you fall off the wagon that makes the difference. How you recover, apologise and move forward.

So, let's work together to bust the myth of neurodivergent laziness one person at a time, if that's what it takes. Spread the word. Make sure you challenge these opinions when you hear them. Our teens deserve understanding, support, and encouragement – not unrealistic expectations or judgments.

Keep advocating, keep supporting, and keep celebrating the neurospicy brilliance of your teen. Together, we've got this!

Love

Gilli

Dad supporting child with homework